Darth Vader Rules Part IV

All the news that gives you fits. Now what about the worst film--"Attack of the Clones?" The only redeeming qualities were the space craft chase in the beginning and the Kick ass Yoda fight at the end. The middle was muddled. There were no villains to compare to his Royal Darthness in any way--not even close Come Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! Christopher Lee??--he sucked in LOTR. No way was he scary. There was no scary music.

Then there was the "romance" with Whiney Anikin. Now that was scary. Isn't Senator Amidala WAY older than young Skywalker? What is it...five years? ..ten years? Besides, what can she possibly see in that sniviling, whining, immature complainer? In SWI she seemed to have some sense. Has the power of the force blinded her? Was she drawn to the Christ-like quality of Anikin's alleged miraculous conception virgin birth?

Hopefully, these and other questions will be answered before this six part series is done. Be on the lookout for DVR V.

Darth Vader Rules Part III

All the news that gives you fits. All right I finally remembered the name of SWI--The Phantom Menace. You would think that a title that held this much promise would deliver--but you'd be wrong. There was no evil theme music to let you know that you should be scared, very scared. Though as discussed already Darth Maul's double light saber was freakin awesome--this darth did not have the Dark Lord Darkness of Vader. True, he did knock off Obi Wan's mentor, Liam Neeson ( I can't quite get the spelling of his screen name right). Liam was dynamic and Ewan MacGregor out Obi Wans Sir Alec Guinness, but the film had no depth of terror. The enemies were too cartoonish--they did not embody the evil of his royal Vaderness.

Princess Amidala was one tough lady. You can see where her daughter gets it, but there was no repartee between battlers. There was no Hans Solo character. Plee=sa let me no mention JAR JAR. He was like the Fearless Fosdick character in the old Dick Tracy comics. Despite the cloud that was always over his head, his mishaps turned out to be cosmically linked up to "the force" so that the outcome was usually positive. This proves the old apothegm, "Ignorance is Bliss."

Young Anikin was very precocious but not obnoxious and whiney He was certainly less petulant than the whiney Anikin in SWII "The Attack of the Clones." We'll get into that in more detail in DVR IV coming soon to a blog near you.

Darth Vader Rules Part II

All the news that gives you fits. Did you happen to notice in SWIII the references by Senator Palpatine (AKA The Emperor, Darth Sideous) saying, "First we have to dissolve the Senate and create an Emperor to Rule."? Wow- de ja vue, the picture of the mind revives again. Is George Lucas making subtle analogues to the current state of America today? I think so. I recall the Brighteyes song, "When the President talks to God."

Art mirrors reality once again. If only the same fate would happen to Mr. Bush (Mr. Insidious)as befell his counterpart, Darth Sideous. Both have the same smarmy, smirky face that just give you the bad goosebumps; not in a scary way but in a creepy slimey way...uuuuggghhhhh, eewwwwwww.

From SWI it seems pretty obvious that Senator Palpatine is the Emperor and the Sith companion to Darth Maul. Darth Maul was the scariest villain in SWI. He was not as scary as THE Darth Vader, but his awesome double sided light saber was s-o-o-o-o-o cool. Pretty much the Fear Factor ended with the demise of Darth Maul (very onomatopoeic name)by Obi Wan. Let's face, it compared to Jar Jar those spice merchants were scary but compared to the Darths--not so much. For me the only saving graces to this film were Darth Maul and the Pod Race.

More to come in DVR III and hopefully you won't have to wait three years for it.

Darth Vader Rules part I

All the news that gives you fits. After 28 years the sixology is complete. My CRS memory seems to recall that back in the day, Mr. Lucas was gonna make a nine part series. Now they are saying nay to seven, eight and nine.
As anticlimactic as it were, SWIII was still fulfilling. There's just something about that Vader music (don don da don, don da da dom) that was missing from SWI and SWII. My rating of the films is like this:
(1) Empire Strikes Back--evil at its worst
(2) A New Hope--the real first film broke new ground on many levels
(3) The Revenge of the Sith--the Vader returns depite whinnie Annakin
(4) Return of the Jedi-great cycle scenes--ruined by the Ewok crap
(5) Number 4 in chronology (whatever its called) great pod race: Jar Jar THIS!!enough said
(6)Number 5 in chronology--Annakin whines and whines and whines

What's missing from SWI and SWII?--the pure evil of Mr. Vader. Come ON-N-N-! !!! Those geeky spice traders vs Vader man? No contest!

More on this. I'll try to remember the names of the two losers. I will also be making some analogies between Darth Sideous and the insidious Mr. Bush. Stay tuned for this six part series